Pope Benedict XVI

So gods rotweiler has become pope. Not really a surprise. I watched the dean of the college of cardinals stand on the balcony, and the world was waiting to hear the new popes name, i was siting on the edge of my couch in excitement at who they had elected, and let out a groan when they said ratzinger.

the church had a chance to start the new reformation of the church, ending world poverty, reforming the system of the church, but in the end, they chose the arch conservative. anti gay, anti women, anti science, the catholic church is going back to its roots, and i can shed this pro church stance i have been taking, thank god.

hes a hardliner, and hardliners i dont agree with. at least he is only a transitional pope, and in a few years we will be goin back to Rome, hopefully for a better pope. Hes the most polarising and divisive figure in the catholic church, he is the chief of the thought police, master of the modern inquisition office. And i am pleased i can go back to my roots, and weve got a hate figure again. Benedict has taken the vatican back to being the antithesis of liberalism, and i dislike him, and am pleased of that fact.

Hopefully, Benedict will make his way up to the great big conservative convention in the sky soon, and the church can have a few years to mull over a more progressive candidate. and when that happens i can start thinking the church can change.

The church cant change, Papa Ratzi is a tough one, and we liberals can be just as tough.

Good ol' Rush

Good ol' Rush Limbaugh. He never ceases to be one of the most offensive, stupid godamn pro christian republicans out there.

I was listening to the Al Franken show on Americas finest news source, after http://www.theonion.com, Air America Radio http://www.airamericaradio.com/ (as you can see Ive just learned how to use hyperlinks).

Anyway, Mr Franken was talking about Rush, and how when Rush was talking to Al Gore about teenagers or something, Rush saids the word blowjob on radio, in reference to the fact that all teenagers think about, is blowjobws. Well as a teenager, I can say although blowjobs are high on my agenda, very high sometimes, I can think about other things.

But the ordacity of it was that Rush blamed Bill Clinton for teaching American Teenagers about Blowjobs. Rush Limbaugh actually blamed Bill Clinton, and the fact that he, on an occaison, was lightly fellated by Monica Lewinsky. Rush fucking Limbaugh actually blamed Bill for teaching americas kids how to give blowjobs, i.e. sucking the cock, licking the stick, giving the head, popping the fruit, eating the banana, or any other innuendo you care to call it.

Rush said that all american kids in school can think of now are blowjobs. If thats true, Id love to thank Bill Clinton, for teaching a generation of kids how to suck cock, and maybe he could come over to Scotland and teach the kids hear how to give half decent blowjobs.

But how god dman stupid can you get? Yes because before Bill, No one in high school had ever, ever though about putting it there. Rush is a fucking tit, he really is, and so is everyone who actually think Abstinence teaching is a good idea. I am so oppoed to abstinence it makes me want to go out and have sex. Im not even going to get into how stupid Abstinrence is, and teaching it as the only method is even more stupid. Us teens have sex, we have alot of sex, not as much as we would like, but alot. And its politicians who havent got any since Eisenhower who are turning a generation into sickening, religious pro abstinence gun nuts. And turning the majority totally off. Normal teens in america, kids who like to get drunk, smoke, get stoned occaisonally and have sex, are now considered to lead an alternative lifestyle.

I just thank fuck that over here, us normal people are still in the majority.

Anyway, in conclusion, Rush is a total tit, Abstinence is morraly wrong in my opinion, and long live blowjobs, and our freedom to talk about them, and get them, whenever, and where ever we can.

Paula Radcliffe

Oh yes, its all very well and good for bloody Paula Radcliffe.She thinks she can just run right back into our hearts and souls. Well Ive had it!

At the Olimpics. I was behind her. I was behind her all the fucking way! We were all behind her.

I...I remeber that day. I remeber it so well. We were in France, and we went down to the Sports Cafe, to watch...Im sorry this is really difficult....to watch the marathon.

We had our fucking union jacks and everything. It was perfect. All bloody perfect. Cheering, and she was just running, running.And everyone was cheering, and clapping her on for. The. Full. God. Damn. Marathon.

I rember it soo well. So well. The flagswere waving, we were singing, drinking...hugging. Then...I stopped. Everyone else was still in a rave. But i Stopped and looked. Something, it didnt look right.

I stood. Still, silentley, in a haze of the 2 hour celebration which had gone on behind me throughout the marathon. I stopped. Stopped and stared at the telly. The ash on my fag fell slowly to the ground. And...and

Paula stopped. Paul stopped. and fell to the ground. The hole bar just stood. Cried. Oh fuck we cried. Screemed at the telly. "get up paula get up!"
We all shouted at her.

A few of the people got into the car and started out straight for Athens.We saw them on the telly a few hours later. No one slept that night. We stayed in the barfor days, just cying and holding each other.Then the news came onshe might run the 10k. Butwe couldnt even get excited about that. She used us. she used us and abused us. All our fucking hopes were pinned on it! all our fucking hopes! and she let us down. the bitch. When she ran the tenk. we thought that would be better, as it went on and on, we got better and better. then she did it again. did it again.

The guys who went to athens never came back. they went to amsterdam and took advantage of the euthanasia laws. they couldnt see any point in going on. I dont blame then.

And now shes won the London Marathon, i cant do it. I cant let her back into my heart. Im not strong enough. Im not. It took too long to heal. It took too long.

That was a documentry for the BBC about the psychological effect ofPaula Radcliffe on our nations teenagers. The face of our interviewee has been blacked out to protect him.

Confession

Confession

And I watched him lie there,
In my bed.
While my soul was etched there,
In his head.
Written in a passion,
A love with no rhyme,
No reason needed,
Nor in time.

Head in the pillow
From the empty bottle
From the hard
The Passion
Heat
Sweat
The Love.

Its Love to be lying in my bed,
Heart etching on my head,
Thinking of those things he'd said,
And of my soul that bled.

Pray that the light does not take
This paralell of love when
The dull dawns.
And I will forget this moment,
A time of no hope.
Too tired to sleep
And too sad to weep.

Three in the morning.
Why bother.
A boy in my bed,
Because of the life I've led.
And the smoke that rises,
Falls and too soon
Disapears.

Flies with the breeze,
That sweeps through the dark,
Through the memories of those,
Who had this bed.
Ruffles the embers,
Of the night thats dead.
And twists the sheets,
Waking the boy in my bed.

"I love you" he said.
Smiling at the mouth,
Which he loves to kiss,
To touch and caress.
Trembling fingers that touch this mouth.
Beauty that brings me to the edge.

And as he touches my mouth,
With those fingers that tremble,
And I see his beauty which brings me to the edge.
But my eyes cant see, his lovley face.
My soul bursts with too many of this.
Too many boys in my bed,
There faces lost in a mind,
Which etches evey detail,
Every time and place.

That at three in the morning,
Ive got up and stared,
All the way to space.
Too many times I find myslef here.
Searching for Love, I find its a chase.
Till the dawn washes the memories away,
I'll stand here, having lost my Grace.

A hand on my back.
The hand of the boy in the bed.
No longer just a boy he said.
A man standing by you,
With his hand round your waist,
Begging you to come back to our bed.
Because I love you, so he said.

I turn and see his face,
Clear as the day thats a long way away.

And He leads his love back to our bed,
As on his chest I rest my head,
"I Love you to" I said,
And the bleeding stopped dead.

Post-drunk syndrome

Im in a post-drunk syndrome

. Myself and Ally met Lala and Claire down at the beanscene last night. And claire had brought all her neo-christian friends down, including arch-christian Andrew A's ex gf, who he dumped because she wasnt 'pure', if you know what I mean, on the advice of the Head of the Inquisition in our school, Carron, whom is going out with Andrew now, surprise?

So anyway, I hadnt seen Claire in ages, and she told us what she did to her Naveed. Naveed (real name David, but if youve ever seen Still Game, you'll understand) is Claires longtime shag. Hes a totaly player, police cadet, shags anything that moves, got a car, plus will tell a girl he loves her, but says he doesnt want a gf. Wanker. So anyways, Claire was giving him a blowjob in his car (no euphamisms for me!) and he had all his clothes off, for some reason. And when he came, claire says she got a fright, and pushed him right out of the car, in the buff, and locked the door, while dangling the keys in front of him. So Naveed was standing outside, in the cold and dark, whith not a sausage on. And thats oor Claire for ya.

So meyslef, Ally and Lala bought some munchies, and went down to my uncles flat (im getting mine tomorrow I HOPE!) and we proceeded to drink 6 pints of Newcastle Brown Ale, and a large bottle of Martini, along with lots of crisps, cream cheese and roll-ups. Later on we walked all the way down to the trais station to get Allys 'friend' Claire M and Anna, sinfully the most boring people on the planet, who went into a huff because I wouldnt go inot the garage to buy some booze for them because the police were there. The three of us were already pissed, you could tell becuase when we walked along Titwood road, we traied to satnd on each others shoulders to steal the sign, but couldnt, so i just nicked a Traffic Notice sign, GO ME! Cleptomania.

So those rude bastards left, and Ally went off into the bedroom to have fone sex with matty. While me and Lala got more drunk and talked shite, it was great! Talked about Scotland and Camilla and Charles and everything. We also did something really, really vile. I had two condoms in the flat, left over from when i shagged Gordon (the one with the cleft face), so we blew them up, and stuck beer in one and tied it in a knot, then chucked it out the window, how vile!

Went to sleep at about 3, so roughly 12 hours ago. Me and Lala had the 'fouton style bed' - actually designed by a masochist, and ally got the couch, basically because her bodily fluids were all over it from when matty was up. eeew.

So came home a few hours ago, and feeling totally meh. its post-drunk syndrome. ive only had one fag the day, so thats probably the problem. Wait, Ive just realised, its called a hangover. Here I am writing a hole fucking post on a syndrome i htought was all new, and it was a fucking hangover the whole time.

Bloody Christians.

Judge not lest ye be judged

Good Christ! Christians are everywhere, and in everything these days! No matter where you look, where you turn, you'll find someone with a crucifix, someone spreading the word, or someone being totally vulgar and offensive by not having sex. Its disgusting.

I recebtly heard that some american pharmaceutical companies, and some chemists, are beong allowed by law to refuse to sell the morning after pill, or even forms of contraception, to women. I found this disgusting. Medicine is about helping everyone, or allowing EVERYONE access to what they need or deserve. I mean, these christians go on and on about too many abortions, and i agree that it would be best if there were no abortions, and by giving women the morning after pill is a way to reduce that. I find it totaly offensive that someone who is ment to be in a position of respect and of help as a chemist can refuse you the morning after pill. Ive got a female friend who is allergic to latex condoms, and the only none latex ones available are extra thin. But she new that if the worst came to the worst, she could always go along to the chemist and get the morning after pill, with no judgement and no questions asked. When I was with my ex-girlfriend, we had a situation one night when the condom split, but it wasnt THAT big a deal, cause we knew that she could get the morning after pill and it would be ok. So if Christians start taking away womens rights, which they are doing with this, no doubt, then it creates complications for these womens lifestyles.

This is minority control, or even worse, the majority telling the minority how they should live. Freedom and democracy is just as much about protecting the rights of the minority, as it is serving the intrests of the majority. I think, in many places in america, the idea of liberal, free democracy is disapearing. I think in many places, Theocracy would be a better word, In that the church, and other christians, can control the rest of the population. No sex education, no strip clubs, no morning after pills or abortions, no drinking no gambling! Christians are taking the fun out of life, and worse than that, people are not being aloowed to live their lives the way they want BECAUSE of these 'people'.

I heard today that the IRANIAN parliament approved a law, allowing abortions for badly handicapped children up to four months, a lot more liberal than some places in america, and this is Iran, a real Theocracy.

Now it is a fact that some Muslim and Christian 'doctors' are refusing treatement to people like gays, or refusing to treat people with STD's or carry out abortions; and some legislators are trying to make this a right! When doctors become doctors, they take the hippocratic oath, saying that they have a duty to care for everyone who is sick.

"I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures which are required"

And so a Christian doctor refusing to treat a patient because s/he considers that patients lifestyle morally wrong is appaling, and i think, therefore, means that s/he is neither a doctor, nor a christian.

Who are these people, to tell us that the way we live our lives are offensive, and 'wrong'? Who are they, who think theyre the dogs bollocks of morals, and are so god damn high and mighty, that they can sit on their mountain and say 'you're evil, you're going to hell'. Well I find it offensive when christians come up to me and let me know Im going to hell, but i can be saved by paying 5 pound and going along to a church youth cult on a friday night, so they can tell me how evil i am. to which i love to reply, sorry, on friday im going to get very drunk and have a lot of gay sex with whoever i can find, and maybe next morning down some morning after pills, and that provides enough spiritual solice for me, thanks alot. (although, after seeing Constantine last nite, me and ally, lovingly referred to as anti-christs, wanted to run into a church and pray, so we wouldnt go to a hell as portrayed in Constantine, the best film ive seen in a while, with the scariest hell scenes ever. So if christians want to convert more people, forget peace and love and the rest of that hypocritical bullshite, show them Constantine, and tell them thats where theyre going if they dont come to mass on a sunday morning.)

So the fact of the matter is, Christians are ruining our lives. There stopping normal people from choosing whatever path that makes them happy. Im perfectley happy to let them have their religious freedoms, and to go around praying there mumbojumbo or watever, but we have our freedoms too. No one has higher morals than the next person, as morality is all a question of perspective. So christians, stop being so anal, stop getting ure arses into politics, where it doesnt belong, stop judgeing others, because others judge you to. "Judge not lest ye be judged" as some old fart said.

So what State in Europe are you from?

I like to think of myslef as Scottish first, then European. I know some people who only see themselves as Scottish, or others who see themselves as just British, or French, or where ever they happen to live. However, Americans see us all as Europeans. That our Continent, or our Continental orginization, the EU, is some altogether binding factor which unites each of the 25 EU states together in a singular body of Politics, Culture and Heritage, as the US is. That, my friends, is bollocks.

America is a vast and different nation from coast to coast, but it is, i believe, a very fluid society. American families uproot to new states all the time, or grow up in one state and move to another. So where the States have a lot of power to themselves, one can move from state to state.

The federal government being the top tier, passes legislation affecting every state of the Union, and the President being he singular head of the collection of states, and the face of America to outside worlds. So it is not difficult to imagine how the general swave of Americans, being generally not as well in tune with world affairs, could come to see Europe, or the EU, as a nation state itself; with half as many member states as America, and a Parliament and Constitution (i hope) of its own.

The general american will have, say 3 generations or something ago, ancestors that came to America from somewhere in Europe. It is estimated that 25 million Americans claim Scottish ancestry, which is duely celebrated in Tartan Day, which is, i believe, soon, or has been. But i think there has been a fudging of ancestors, wheras im sure the individual will know which is the 'old country' a fudging together of the 'old countries' in the general cultur and phsyche has laid the foundations for the idea that Europe is the same as America.

Another factor to this, is that i think the majority of Europeans enjoy relativley the same way of life. Go to Estonia, say the centre of Tallinn on a saturday afternoon, and i bet you will see people shopping along the high street, kids off school looking around the shops with friends, and amazing architecture on every building. the same in Glasgow or Lyon or Barcalona or Bratislava or anywhere in the EU.

I feel myslef gettin off the point a wee bit here. Im trying to say that Americans view Europe as a nation, rather than a Continent of very different nations, and that they shouldnt. The EU is a loose confederation of 25 Independant countries, and the small, very small bit of legislation that the European Parliament controls is only to standardise it across the EU. But each Country is still its own, very different in languiage, culture and history from each other. Even so, that is still being eroded, you can drive from Paris to Brussels to Amsterdam to Luxembourg City and then to Berlin and Rome without a Passport, something which i think should be incorporated into all 25 States. And the Euro, i think is fantastic, that you can go anywhere in Europe soon, and just use the Euro in your pocket, and i wish the UK would hurry up and join it.

Hmm, i started this post with feverent nationalism and regionalism in my mind, trying to blame the yanks for seeing us as just 'Yurp'. But i have ended with the feeling that incorporating the 25 members into a single body of government, along American lines, with a European President, a powerull all-Europe legislative body, while still having regional parliaments and assembleys, would not be a bad idea. It would have to be done with all the checks and balances in place though. the EU president being subject to scrutiny form an EU senate with say between 2-5 senators from each nation, based on population, or just the same as america, with 2 senators regardless. And over time, the Prime Ministers and Presidents becoming governors of the States of the European union. But even then, it would still be very different from America Culturaly. More liberal, more inclusive, less of a Theocracy, and basically a better way of life for all Europeans, standardized across the whole EU. God damn it, i feel like singing Ode to Joy now,(the EU anthem). And im thinking wether or not i should consider myself European then scottish.

Hmm. anyway. that was a really bad post. It started out a Yank basher and turned into a whole Vive l'Europe thing. Ill put this one down to having a severe nicotine deficency, and go and correct that immediatley with a lovley, smooth, american Marlboro.

Some Poems

I was inspired to put some of my poems on my blog by Kate, http://amatterofmuse.blogspot.com/ who is a really great poet, and of course inspired to write them by the great D, Aileen Doogan.

Times

Everytime I looked, I saw your eyes
Everytime you turned away, it brought
me pain,
Forever, So close, I was there, in
Insane
Everytime your silence shouts, a part of me
dies.

All the times you were there, standing
there, so long
Allthetime I willed you there,
wishing you were mine.
Forever it would seem, but for
ever, no signs.
All the times I could have had you then,
but no, it was too wrong.

Time could see us growing, Time
could see us loving,
Time could see us fall apart,
and Time could see us dying.
For every time there is a shout,
Times there are screams
Only Time can show us if, we
make it through, to time, and
time again.

For every Time I looked and
saw you
For all the Times I've said I Loved
You
For the short short Time we have
together,
Forever, I hope your mine.

12/1/05 - for a guy who never cared

Paul II

How can your heart feel love,
when you can lie so well?
How can you be from above,
when its so obvious your
from hell?
What makes me want to
hurt you, when I can see
you do that too?
How does anyone trust you?
they dont, they're no fools.

A fool was all I was to you
A simple mind you played
so well.
Your jealous body and 'your
own' style,
An 'individual' just like all
them too.

Hate cannot describe, all these
wonderful feelings I have for you
Joy would not suffice, for an
injury sustained to you
The Devil could not inflict, all
the pain that is due to you
But at the moment I have
no time, to even bother
thinking of you.

12/1/05 to a boy who should be six feet under

The Joys

Oh the joys, the joys
The joys of life, there are too many.
Too many things that cause me pleasure,
But oh, oh too little time to do any.

How I want to increase my time
How I want to live that moment again
Life, it travels far too fast to hold on
But hold on, and your life, you could regain.

The joys, are are they things that make life worth living?
Or are they jsut the spaces between when your life ain't giving?
The glass half full, or half empty, do you think?
But all it says to me is:
"Waiter, where the hell is my next drink?"

2005, musing upon life

Il Papa

I'm watching the most incredible sight. The funeral of a great man, the Pope, is having his funeral, and I, like a billion others around this planet, can watch it live, and see the million people that are standing there in the Eternal City, watching John Paul the Great be buried. I am not catholic, and i greatly dislike all forms of religion, but right now, there is a situation where we have an ancient institution, whoes head has great, great oppertunities for promoting peace, and understanding between all peoples.

I think that was reflected in the fact that there was Eastern Patriarchs singing their songs to his coffin, and almost every world leader under the sun was present at the Funeral. For all Bushes faults, i was pleased that he was the first president to attend the funeral of a Pope.

Pope John Paul the Great was the most influencial person in ridding the world of communism, and we saw the fruits of that with Poland, a nation in mourning for their father, who ridded them of Communism, and gave them freedom. along with Victor Yuschenko, Hamid Karzai, and im pretty sure i saw the Ayatollah.

It just shows us though, how great a man he was. Visiting every corner of this earth. My Dad, and his side of the family, who are Catholics, fondly reminice about the time he visited Bellohouston Park in Glasgow in 1982. And i was humbled greatly earlier on in the week, when His Holiness was lying gravley ill, That my Aunt Theresse, who lives in Italy, and is in a Catholic singing group that goes around the world. she has met the Pope on mnay occaisons, and often goes to Rome. And i was humbled when my dad told me that they had seen one of her songs, that she had written, being sung in Polish, to pray for the Pope, i was overwhelmed.

He really was the peoples Pope, a great man, who deserves the title of Great, as well as the Title of Saint, and i hope and wish those cardinals can find one in their number who is just as great, as His Late Holiness, Pope John Paul II, the Great